Tuesday 8 December 2009

The Winter Blues

The past few weeks I have been down. You know that feeling where you are overwhelmed by the sense that ‘something is missing’ but you’re damned if you know what that ‘something’ is? It feels like a battle to drag yourself out of bed in the morning, and a mission to get to work. Well I had a prolonged attack of emptiness last week. What the reason was I think was a classic case of the winter blues, we had several days of uninterrupted gloom, and several of my friends complained of the same ailment: a nagging sense of misery and overall blahness. Unfortunately, my usual antidote for these days is comfort food. Usually cheese. Which is not good -- it gives me nightmares. Other ways I have found which give me a temporary boost are: shopping (that then makes you poor), and watching feel good films. Good strategies for short term relief of the winter blues, but really I need something longer lasting.


I had read in Prof. Richard Wisemans book “:59 seconds. Think a little change alot” that a sure fire way to perk up your mood for a prolonged(ish) period of time was to write a gratitude list. In keeping with the title of his book, he recommends taking less than a minute to write 5 things you are grateful for. At the time my mood was so low, I barely managed an “I am grateful for a nice warm cosy bed”. Anyhow, I managed another 4 (I am grateful that I have: decent friends, fun friends, and reliable friends and that some friends were all 3 combined, was the pinnacle of the list!). It actually helped. He also recommends small acts of kindness, and that for long term happiness it truly is better to give than to receive. For example, experiments show that when people spend a bonus on family or friends they are happier for longer than those who spent said bonus on themselves. Well, I usually phone my extended family on Eid, and sometimes a leetle part of me thinks that maybe for once they could call me, but not this time. I kept Wisemans advise in mind, and reminded myself that the people I am called are much older than me, and actually really enjoyed my phone calls.


Another book that has been my constant companion in times of blueness is the “Dont Be Sad” book by Dr Al-Qarni (not sure of english spelling). It tackles the issues of the dark side of humanity (depression, anxiety, loneliness, low self esteem and their ilk), with an Islamic theme to it. Al-Qarni is a well read man and quotes many non-Muslim thinkers and psychologists (Freud and Ghandi to name two). He includes many inspirational narratives, hadiths, poems, verses from the Quran as well as quotes from philosophers and psychologists. This book is a slow read, because each small paragraph leaves you with much to think about. The main things of this book that I remember is again the attitude of gratitude, to remind ourselves of what we have, and how others may suffer more. To remind ourselves that not everything that we hate is bad for us, to accept the past, to SMILE (again mentioned in the Wiseman book, if you cant smile, bite on a pencil it apparently has the same effect) and penultimately to behave in this world as travelers, with our final destination yet to come. I remember going through a phase of loneliness, and randomly picking up this book. I liked how he put a positive spin on this state, that being alone is not necessarily a bad thing, and that much can be achieved through being on ones own.


So, what suggestions do this blogs dear readers have for beating the winter blues?


3 comments:

  1. Prayer...and at the end of the prayer, make a dua to Allah. It really helps when you know you have taken a minute out to tell the one who really is the only one that can give you the strength to get over the blues. It always feels good, like a weight taken off your chest which then helps you to move forward.

    Taking a quick trip/mini-break out of the UK always helps. Sometime all we need is some sunshine, especially at this time of the year! :)

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  2. How glad am I to have left London ?

    Hated it, hated it to eternity. Especially the winter. The Doom, The gloom - is what your suffering from I presume. Its the drudgery of work or maybe misery alone thats getting to you.

    The lonely night. The morning not so bright. The day sooo long yet sunshine never to be found.

    The tubs of ice cream, dollops of cheese, last night's Pizza seem so unfilling. The debaucherous annual christmas party invites, stupid movie releases - I am still unwilling.

    The sweaty trains, the boring book, the dull scenery I'd rather not look. Ughh...Hated it, hated it to eternity.

    There is a silver lining in all of this.

    It ends. It has to.

    Cheer up! coz u got no reason, not to.

    - My Sympathies and Best Wishes.

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  3. We all have our bad days and sad moments, I do too. But my mom always keeps saying to me that the only truly relief we can find is in God. Pray, talk to God, let Him know deep down what is in your heart, cry, to let the sadness go a little away. Of course it doesn't solve all our problems, but, it brings a little comfort to our hearts, a little warmth to them. Sometimes, we have the impression that the night will never end, but there is always a good morning ahead of us, with a better perspective. All we cannot do is to drag ourselves down and down. I have watched a woman on tv saying that, instead of complain, let's say grace to God. Because it is the power of the divine grace of God, that helps us and makes us move on,despite all the dificulties that every human being has to face no matter where. Try to give a smile, it also helps :) XOXO from Brazil.

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